Swinging Etiquette

I’m sure that most of us want to be successful as swingers, however often we participate.  We have found one of the nicest things about the lifestyle we lead is that we get to meet genuine people who can relate to us and understand our way of life and share the same views.  Most of the people we have met over the years have remained and will always be very good friends, who we meet both socially and within the swinging scene.

The reason for this is simple, treat the people you meet with respect, and social courtesy just how you would want people to treat you and most of all be honest.

•  Couples – If you arrive as a couple, leave as a couple, others may not be impressed if one partner leaves early and the other stays, if one goes, both go.
  
  
• Arriving at a club or party -  In the swinging lifestyle it is not fashionable to turn up late, as the night may have already got underway,  it may also be harder for you to fit in. If you are going to be late, give the host a ring and let them know.
  
  
• Be Polite & Friendly– It doesn’t cost anything to be polite and treat people with the same respect that they treat you. Chat with everyone and anyone, even if you do not want to take things further, you may find you have other things in common and the social side of swinging is equally as important as the play.
  
  
• Party Invites – Try and reply to all invitations you receive, if even it is a no, people hosting parties like to know how many they are catering for and you will gain respect by being honest, rather than saying you will come and then not turn up.
  
  
• Be Prepared – Find out from the people hosting a party what is provided and what they would like you to bring, never arrive empty handed and make sure you bring everything you might need too, condoms, hairbrush etc.
  
  
• Dress Code – If you are going to a club make sure you find out what the dress code is first before attending you do not want to be turned away at the door, keep valuables to a minimum and bring spare clothes with you which you may be more comfortable in as the night progresses.
  
  
• Good Grooming & Hygeine – It goes without saying that you need to be fresh and clean, shower before coming out, you will put potential partners off with body odour or bad breath, make yourself feel good and this will come across to others.
  
  
• Enjoy Yourself – The main aim for you is to go out and have fun enjoy what you are doing, fulfil your fantasies and mix and meet with people who love the lifestyle just like you do.  Never feel pressured into doing anything you do not want to do.
  
  
• NO MEANS NO – Never feel like you cant say no.  The most fundamental thing in swinging is the right to say no to something you do not want to do.  A simple No or No Thanks is all that is required, you do not have to explain further.  Others in the scene will know this as well and will be respectful and understand this. If someone does say no to YOU do not be offended or take it personally, everyone has their own ideas about what they want and others wants and needs should be respected at all times.
  
  
• Dont Be Pushy – Never force yourself on anyone, chat with people, if you get the vibe from them that they wish to play with you, ask them in a polite way whether they would like to join you. If they say no don’t be offended, they may like you as a person but you may not be what they are looking for in a playmate.  Never push the issue and this could cause embarrassment to both yourself and them.  If you are watching someone playing, it is common courtesy to ask them if it is okay to join them, they will either say yes or no.  Never just help yourself and start groping at someone, it could cause embarrassment, never presume because they are playing that everyone is invited to join in, so don’t help yourself.
  
  
• Alcohol – Nearly everyone enjoys having a few drinks while they are out at a party, its part of the social side of swinging and does help people relax and unwind.  That said overindulging is not a good idea, it turns others off, you will find people will not play with you if you are drunk and may actually hinder your performance.
  
  
• Safe Sex – Everyone has their rules about safe sex, No one is ever offended by the use of condoms, it just protects all parties involved in play.  Most people do practice safe sex so out of respect use condoms, unless the other person says otherwise and you feel comfortable not to.
  
  
• Types of Play – There is a large variety of ways people like to play.  Most clubs/parties have open play rooms and locked rooms, so the choice is yours. Some people like to watch others then go off and play by themselves, others enjoy the whole group sex scene, and others just like to be watched.  If someone is playing in a room with several beds, it may not mean that they want others to join in, it may be that they just want to be watched, so remember always ask if you wish to participate.
  
  
• Respect the Play – If people are in the playrooms playing, try to not stand around the doorway talking loudly or having a discussion about last nights football match, it is a big turn off and can destroy the mood of the people who are playing – Be respectful, take your chat into the chill out rooms.
  
  
• Problems – If someone is causing a nuisance of themselves and are not taking no for an answer or even being abusive, tell the hosts of the party straight away, and let them deal with the problem, you do not want your night ruined by others disrespect.
  Finally it goes without saying RESPECT RESPECT RESPECT, this is the most important word in the swinging world, without it, you will get NOWHERE.